And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
