I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
dude. I can hear the air.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
