the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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