only if we run a train.
done.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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