Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
