Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
