That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
