I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
