I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Can I color on your dick again?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
