he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
