So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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