The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
