Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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