It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
