Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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