Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
