I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
