I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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