Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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