I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
