Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
