she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
A+ Viking dick
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
