Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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