Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
