i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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