To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
