She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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