i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
