Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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