Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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