party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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