If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
