Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
