i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm at about main and main street
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
