Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
