you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
