I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
