dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
