Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
i think i just lost a toe
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
