Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
