She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
