my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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