her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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