btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Less talking, more tequila
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
