i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
