Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
