i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
