i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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