You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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