Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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