Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
